Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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