roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
