'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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