He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Where is the hickey?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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