She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
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Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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