whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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