I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
