I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
