do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
