My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
