At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
