I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize