Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
