I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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