I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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