Are we in a gay sports bar?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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