I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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