Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
