I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
