Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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