We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
