my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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