So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm gonna have a badass scar
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
