Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
