He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
