I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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