aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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