I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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