i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
