I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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