You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize