i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
