I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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