Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
