How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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