He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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