Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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