He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize