do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
