she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize