You're a womanizer and a bitch.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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