i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize