just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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