Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
