I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
