you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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