I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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