In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
