It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
