You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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