My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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