found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
