she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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