I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
