you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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