Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
