I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
