Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
