Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
