I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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