Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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