you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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